The other night our power went out for several hours. When I was a kid, this was always exciting. My dad worked for the power company and sometimes I would get to go out on a trouble call with him.

This most recent time was not so exciting. This has been one of the hottest summers in years, so the last thing I wanted was to have to go to sleep in a pool of sweat.

It’s funny how things change over the years. I realize more and more that what we find exciting now may not always hold that same place in our hearts.

People change.
Circumstances change.
Cultures change.

Everything changes, but in that change, we are granted this wonderful gift of appreciation for where we are and what we are doing at this very moment in our lives.

Do not take for granted where you are now. Whether the situations you face are good or bad, the one thing you can bet on is that they will change.

What has changed recently in your life?

I love words.

In school, math was never really my thing. I was more interested in books (or sleeping, but that is a different story). Words captivate us. They can lift the heaviest heart and heal the deepest wound. They can incite romance (like mine do with my wife) or charge an army. Words can be overwhelmingly powerful…

But they can also be indescribably destructive. Relationships can be ruined by a few sharp words. People can be broken quickly and hurt deeply in just a few sentences.

Isn’t is funny how it takes so many more words to build someone up than it takes to tear them down. I write this as a reminder to myself and hopefully to you. Remember we are all born with one of the greatest tools of construction, but when used poorly, it becomes one of the greatest tools of  destruction. This power is simply the power of words.

Who have you built up today?

I am currently reading the book “Enchantment” by Guy Kawasaki.

A section in the book that has stood out is “likability.” Ultimately, we all want to be liked, and while personality plays a huge role, there are certain things we can do to be enchanting.

Here are Guy’s four tips:

1. Make Crows Feet - Smiling is extremely important when it comes to likability. Someone who is compared to Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street is generally not an enchanting person. Smiling has to be authentic. People can instinctively pick up on a fake smile. A genuine smile no only engages the mouth, but also the eyes. Guy suggests thinking happy thoughts when you greet someone. This will cause your eyes to squint a little making “crows feet.”

2. Dress For A Tie – Personal appearance makes or breaks a first impression; but to be truly likable, Guy suggests dressing for a tie. Being underdressed give the sign that you don’t care much and/or that you are lazy, but overdressing can cause you to come off as rich and above others. Dressing for a tie levels the playing field and instinctively disarms those in your company.

3.  Perfect Your Handshake – Have you ever been handed the dead fish shake when you first met someone, or how about the cold clammy hand. These never leave a good impression. Here are Guy’s tips on a great handshake:

• Make eye contact throughout
• Utter an appropriate verbal greeting
• Make a “crows feet” smile
• Gripe the person’s hand and give it a firm squeeze
• Stand a moderate distance from the other person: not so close as to make him uncomfortable or so far away as to make him feel detached.
• Make sure you hand is cool, dry, and smooth
• Hold the handshake for no longer that two to three seconds

4. Use Right Words – Words are the vehicle in which we communicate. If you have a poor vehicle, you may not get to your destination. Guy lists four tips on using the right words:

• Use simple words – People do not want to carry a dictionary in order to have a conversation with you.
• Use active words – Passive voice indicates a passive person.
• Keep it short – Don’t force people to listen. If they are interested in what you have to say, they will ask for more.
• Use common, unambiguous analogies – Meet people on common ground. It is hard to stay interested in something you do not understand.

If you haven’t pick up this book yet, I highly recomment it. I’m about halfway in and I’m loving it!

What are your thoughts? Any more tips on being likable?

Rural America is typically the last place to look for growing churches, much less thriving student ministries. But I believe that students in smaller cities across this country are starving for “Fresh Bread.” They are no longer satisfied with the religion of their parents; thus, we as student pastors and leaders must heed this call and do everything possible to reach them.

In my years of being a student pastor in a small town, I have identified four important aspects of building and sustaining a successful ministry.

Real Relationships – People in smaller cities are suspicious of outsiders. I have seen many youth pastors come into a church expecting it to be just like their last one. To build a student ministry in a small town, it must be built with trust. This trust only comes from building “real” relationships with the people there. They need to know that you are there for them, and not just to build your resume.

Get to know the people, their customs, their lingo, and build their trust. Once you have that, they will follow your leadership.

Redefined Faith – One of the greatest hindrances to a God-led student ministry in a small town is religion. It is typical to see several generations of a family at a single church, regardless if the church is dead or not. This stagnation has caused many students to regard church as antiquated and useless. It is our job to redefine faith in Jesus as a life-giving relationship, and not as a life-hindering system of rules. In order to do this, we must ourselves be full of God’s Spirit and guided by His direction. It’s hard to give something to others that you do not have yourself.

There is a huge difference between having religion and having a relationship with Jesus.

Realized Potential – Student pastors in small cities typically cite two major problems to their growth: no budget and no space. There is nothing worse than having a great vision with no support or any practical way to get there. Still, the potential is there. Student ministries in smaller cities can have a huge impact on the surrounding area. Pour your vision into those around you and let it catch fire. If God has given you the dream, then it is His responsibility to see it come to pass; all you must do is persevere.

Just because you are small doesn’t mean you have to act like it.

Regained Confidence – The typical length a student pastor stays at a church is about 18 months. This is much more prevalent in small cities. Because of this quick turn around in leadership, most student ministries never really make any forward progress. This is sad due to the potential that a dynamic ministry can have on a small city. I strongly believe that if God places you at a church, even for a short time, it is your responsibility to build a ministry that will last beyond your tenure. The mark of a quality leader is equipping others to lead once you are gone.

Leave things better than when you came.

What are your thoughts on student ministry in small cities? Have anything else to add, sound off below!

The most difficult person a leader may face is themselves.

When leading ourselves, we can be:

• Stubborn
• Lazy
• Destructive
• Manipulative
• Unforgiving

A well known ancient greek phrase is “Know Thyself.” If we are going to lead others well, we must learn to lead ourselves. Getting married has taught me this more than anything. We must be willing to look inside and ask ourselves the tough questions. For me, one of my toughest battles has been shyness. Everyday, I have to make a point to be comfortable with putting myself into uncomfortable situations. I know I must fight through, but sometimes it can seem overwhelming.

What are some areas that you have had to fight yourself daily?

*This is a guest post by my wife Allison. You can follow her on twitter @alliewu.*

So, my new favorite thing to do is play Halo Reach with my amazing husband Dustin. In fact, I’m pretty sure I became addicted this past weekend when I should have been writing lesson plans. But who can write lesson plans when there’s an action packed, shoot ‘em up game just waiting to be played.

Here’s my strategy for playing Halo… just run and hope to not die. In other words, I don’t have a strategy. As soon as I see “The Covenant” (the enemies) and they start firing at us, I charge as fast as I can into the battle, hoping to dodge their bullets, and somehow knock them out with my elbow. See, I’m still not very proficient at using the guns and I tend to have better luck to just elbow the enemies a few times. I have no protection and no focus. When we are playing on “Easy” mode, my strategy works pretty well and I rarely die. However, as soon as we start to play on “Normal” mode, my strategy gets me killed pretty much instantaneously.

My husband on the other hand, plays very strategically. He hides behind a rock or some kind of a shield, uses his armor to his greatest advantage, and is quite proficient with his weapons. Even in “Normal” or “Legendary” mode, he is rarely killed by the enemy because he has a strategy and protection.

I think that a lot of people, including myself, “play the game of life” like I play Halo. We run full steam ahead, with no protection, no defense mechanisms, and no focus. We run, hoping that we can just elbow whatever comes up against us, and that will be enough to sustain us.

But here’s the problem: When our life is on “Easy” mode, that may be enough. But when our life hits the “Normal” or “Legendary” mode, we need more of a strategy. You see, as I am yet learning, spiritual warfare is real and it’s intense. In order to conquer the battle, we must be prepared and focused.

Ephesians 6: 13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

In order to conquer the battles ahead, we must be prepared, with protection and a plan of action.

When playing Halo, I noticed that there were about 7 Spartans following me around. When I asked Dustin why they were following me, he stated, “Because you’re their leader.” However, I’m not much of a leader worth following when I myself have no strategy.

So my questions are these…

• How are you playing your game? Do you have a strategy and a focus or are you running full steam ahead with no protection, just hoping to win.
• Are you a leader worthy of being followed? Or are you just as clueless as everyone that you are leading?